I grew up, sheltered and protected, for most of my
life. So naturally, when I entered high
school, I was a nervous wreck. I circled
the school at least 5 times, trying to find my Biology class and found myself
eating lunch in the bathroom multiple times.
In addition, I would come home to piles of textbooks and notebooks,
waiting to be filled with homework due the next day. Also, I had to juggle my intense dance
classes and helping around the house as well.
I didn't know what to do! As a
result, in my freshman year, I became stressed out and anxious about everything
in my life including school, dance, family, and my social life. This was not helpful at all because not only
did my grades go down, but my mental health was jeopardized, too. Not every high school is like Rye Dell High
(for my Grease lovers). Now, as a
junior, I have begun to realize how beneficial it would be to have a special
class offered to all students that encourages ways to cope with school and
social interaction with peers. This
class would offer useful study habits, techniques to control anxiety and
stress, and help students gain more confidence around other students. If I was a freshman, I would have loved to be
able to take a class like this. I
believe it would have given me skills that would help me later on in my high
school career.
I had a friend who I used to go to middle school with. Smart kid, athletic, good looking, basic
definition of popular. However, he had
underlying issues that seemed to never be resolved. When he entered high school, he was met with
the harsh reality of high school life.
He wasn't prepared or guided by anyone on the basics of High School
101. As a result, he started beating
himself up over low grades and sacrificed his social life by having little
confidence. He started having serious
mental issues and became immensely depressed because of the lack of support. If he had had this class, he may have been
more aware of the expectations of high school and may have been able to reach
out to someone who was an expert at high school life for help.
Think
about the future of our generation. If
we were to not support our young adults through a crucial, developing time in
their life, how do we expect them to create an advanced, modern world in 20
years? Let's give our kids hope for the
future, make them see a light by making them feel comfortable on home ground.
Hey Purvi, I'm not going to say too much, just what I'm suppose to because I have to go study for my Anatomy exam. First, I loved the topic you chose to write about;I belive I have told you that before but I'm going to tell you it again. Second, your use of pathos was very good. In the first paragraph, you provoked sympathy from the audience by explaining your personal experience of struggling with the high school life. The second paragraph also provoked sympathy with a second hand source of a person having a hard time in high school. Your last paragraph provokes action and determination in the audience because you make them feel as if something seriously need to be done and action needs to be taken. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Purvi, I loved your blog! It was awesome!!Honestly I don't even know what to say about things for you to improve because I thought you did such a great job. Your blog was very personnal, which I thought really added to it, and gave it a lot of support. You used many different kinds of emotional appeals like care, sadness, wonder, frustration, hope, etc. You're use of pathos was very interesting because you made all of these different emotional appeals fit in to your social issue, and it was very clear to understand and follow. There really was no point during your blog when I was confused or having a hard time following your argument. I was very interested the entire time in what you had to say, and frankly I didn't want to stop reading because I was so interested and intrigued in your argument. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteEllo again Purvi!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job at using pathos in your blog! I love how
you include that poor child who suffered greatly because of his
inexperience in high school that your class would solve. It really
helped me understand how serious the problem you are addressing is.
You also help back up this story with your own experience helping it
seem more legitimate and less dramatic. Your ending was a nice change
as well since you went from the emotion of sympathy to hope and
inspiration to help invite the reader to take action. The only problem
I had was some of the sentences didn’t flow nicely into the others
such as the end of the second to last paragraph and the start of the
last paragraph. Other then that, Good job!.
Ello again Purvi!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job at using pathos in your blog! I love how
you include that poor child who suffered greatly because of his
inexperience in high school that your class would solve. It really
helped me understand how serious the problem you are addressing is.
You also help back up this story with your own experience helping it
seem more legitimate and less dramatic. Your ending was a nice change
as well since you went from the emotion of sympathy to hope and
inspiration to help invite the reader to take action. The only problem
I had was some of the sentences didn’t flow nicely into the others
such as the end of the second to last paragraph and the start of the
last paragraph. Other then that, Good job!.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete